I MARRIED SOMEONE I MET….
… ON SAFARI
David and Cynthia Bush had been married for more than 20 years when they met Donald and Nancy Williams, who had just celebrated more than three decades together, on a Micato safari in 2012. The two couples became fast friends, though they lived on opposite coasts.
Nancy: The safari was something my late husband and I had talked about for a while—he was probably more excited about it than I was—but we got there and it was the best trip we’d ever taken. It was for three weeks, across South Africa, Tanzania, and Zimbabwe, and on the first day, we were paired in our Land Cruiser with David and Cynthia. She and I just intuitively understood each other. We had the same quirky sense of humor, so we could just be ourselves. And we both really liked wine. We stayed in touch after the trip, and probably talked once a year. We always said we were going to get together again and going to travel together.
Before they could plan that second trip, Don Williams and Cynthia Bush both became ill in late 2015. Their conditions worsened, and by early 2016, each was receiving palliative care.
Nancy: Don died eight days before Cynthia. The last time I had talked to her, she was having shoulder and knee issues—nerve pain—but she was such an upbeat personality, so joyous, that she never let on she was badly sick. I sent her a text message five days after Don had passed away, just to let her know. In the back of my mind, I was thinking she’d say, "Get on a plane, come visit us," as it would be great to get out of town, but I didn’t hear from her and didn’t think much about it. It was in the middle of my husband’s memorial service that I got a text from her daughter-in-law, saying, "Sorry to hear about Don’s passing—he was probably there to greet Cynthia." I had goose bumps. It turned out I had sent the text message to her at the exact minute she was being transferred to a hospice facility.
Nancy sent her late friend’s husband a condolence card. It would prove a life-changing gesture.
David: I belatedly sent her one, and also followed up with an email, about a week and a half later. I said, "If you get a chance, give me a call," and so we talked for a couple of hours and she said, "If you’re ever in southern California, look me up."
Nancy: I actually said, "I had a guest room, if you ever want to come visit." I had no agenda, really truly. I just thought it would be nice to have a distraction. It was kind of a relief to talk to somebody that understood exactly the emotions you’d just experienced, a comfort to have someone that had really, truly walked in your shoes. We relived some of our fun stories of Africa, and there was no awkwardness.
On a whim, David booked a two-day trip to visit in the summer of 2016.
David: I am decisive—like they used to say, "I’m not always right, but I’m never in doubt." Nancy insisted on picking me up from the airport, and I have to admit—I remembered she was an attractive lady, but yep, she was gorgeous. We got to her house and sat outside, talking, for probably four or five hours, kind of reliving and rehashing the last months, the things we’d been through. Then I said, "I want to take your out to dinner to your favorite restaurant." After that, we came back here and the rest is history. I had come for a two-day visit then went back home to Atlanta; for the next couple of weeks, we were on the phone daily. The quality of the connection we had just made was something, and we wanted to nurture it further. So I started living at the airport.
Nancy: It was almost an instantaneous connection. From our first afternoon we never looked back. Never in the back of my mind had I any thought of any romantic interest. I truly believed I would be single for the rest of my life, and I was okay with that. I don’t think I realized how lonely I was until he came—and then he was gone. It probably threw a lot of people off: "How in the heck could you just lose your spouse and then start a new relationship?" But for me, and for David, we had been grieving for so long, during our spouses’ illnesses, moving on was not as difficult.
By the fall of 2016, the pair had decided that David would move, full time, to California by early the next year, but the pair had agreed from the outset that they wouldn’t remarry. They quickly changed their minds.
Nancy: We were at dinner, in April, and I said, "I know we’re not going to get married, but I think in six months we should have another conversation about it." David said, "I don’t have to think about it, I’d marry you tomorrow." We basically planned our wedding in about three weeks.
David: There was no point postponing it, as there are no guarantees in life—if you don’t grab happiness while you can, you might miss it. We started to appreciate a few of the logistical challenges of having different last names when we traveled. We went off by ourselves to Hawaii: We went there single and came back married.
Their relationship has proven challenging to some of their close friends and family, especially those close to Nancy.
Nancy: It was tough. My late husband had been married previously, so I have five stepchildren and one daughter together—and she had a very difficult time initially because she was very close to her dad, and it was hard for her to see me moving on. She took me off her radar for a period, and couldn’t talk to me. My best friend and her husband, who spent a lot of time with my late husband and me, they’re still in a grieving process as well. My neighbors, my friends, my stepchildren, though, they said it was wonderful.
David: I have three biological children, all of whom were very supportive. I think they were glad to see Dad moving on. With my two stepchildren, it’s a split decision, and one family hasn’t accepted it. But my 98-year-old mother, who is still alive? She was very supportive through this, but she was thrilled when we decided to get married.
Their new life together has, unsurprisingly, been full of travel—and joy.
David: We start on a trip to Southeast Asia for three weeks tomorrow—flying to Hong Kong, then a cruise to Vietnam, Singapore, and Bangkok and a tour in Cambodia. It’s so much fun to have somebody to travel with, and live life’s experiences with again. We haven’t yet been on another safari, though.
Nancy: We have pictures of [Don and Cynthia] up in the house, and there’s not a day that goes by that one doesn’t talk about the other—there’s no discomfort. We are so happy together and even our dogs love each other.
David: Now, as we look back, we think, Wow, it was kinda quick, but I don’t think we’ve had a moment of regret. The great thing is that we can look at the future now and be optimistic. Life has taught us, with those past tragedies, that we should never take anything for granted. Seize the day. Go forward and enjoy it.
… ON THE BEACH IN MYKONOS
British interior designer Sarah Banks, now 54, met her American composer husband Brian, now 62, after taking a summer trip to Greece on a whim.
I decided to go on a last-minute vacation with a friend to Greece in 1990. We had no hotel booked, no idea where we were heading. I met Brian on the beach, where he used the immortal chat-up line: "Would you like to get a coffee?" After two days, Brian had to fly back to L.A. where he lived; that seemed to be the end of my short and rather sweet holiday romance. But I knew I was smitten.
When I got back to Milan, where I was living, there were red roses—and the phone calls began. Then an invitation to fly to L.A. for a few days, and over that New Year, Brian accidentally proposed, in bed, eating ice cream, less than six months after we had met and having spent fewer than 10 days together total. We have been married since July 1991.
We went back to Mykonos a few years ago with our kids and it had changed so much. The beach bars were so posh—when we were there it was ratty palm fronds and rusty chairs. Who knew that a last-minute vacation to a random Greek island I knew nothing about could lead to a life I could never have imagined?
… ON A CHAIRLIFT IN COLORADO
Thirteen years ago, Jessica and Andrew Averett, both 36, had a fateful meet-cute, after waiting on the singles line at Snowbird in Utah.
We were both skiing alone that day and each of us hopped into the singles line to get on the chairlift faster. The lift attendant put us both on the chairlift together and we started up the mountain. Andrew was very friendly and started chatting with me and the other guy on the lift right away. When we got to the top of the mountain, we agreed to ski a run together, which quickly turned into an entire day. As avid skiers, both of us were equally impressed with the other one and at the end of the day, he got my phone number.
The next weekend, we went spelunking on our first date.
Travel quickly became a mainstay of our relationship and we quickly found ourselves planning getaways and road-trips nearly every weekend. After several months of dating, we decided to go to Africa and spend the summer together doing humanitarian work. While we were there, we hiked Mount Kilimanjaro where Andrew proposed at the summit. Now 12 years and five kids later, our adventures have only gotten better and better. While most people would think that travel and adventures would slow down after you have kids, it has been just to opposite for us. In the last four years, we've visited over 30 countries with our kids and they love it just as much as we do.
… AS SEATMATES ON A PLANE
Paul Port, 71, and his wife, Rochelle, 67, found they had more than just their destination in common when they struck up a conversation on a JetBlue flight from NYC-JFK to Los Angeles in 2004.
Paul: I was on my way to a family reunion in Palm Desert, California. I remember thinking it was way too early in the morning, getting up at 3:30 a.m. for a 6:30 a.m. flight. I love sitting by the window, so I can lean my head against it and fall asleep. But when the snack cart came round, I offered a cracker to my seatmate with no intention of ending up in a four-and-a-half-hour conversation, where we covered just about everything that was important to us. When we landed, I offered her a ride and she said no—her son was picking her up—but we were staying at the same hotel. Weird and awesome. Next morning, I was coming into the hotel from hiking Topanga Canyon, and I spotted Rochelle—she looked beautiful. A kiss seemed like the natural thing to do, so I went for it. Wow.
Rochelle: It was Mother’s Day weekend, and my son was at graduate school at USC. It was very last minute but I decided to drop everything and go with my 17-year-old daughter. We boarded the plane and I took the middle seat next to her, after she said, "I am not sitting next to that old man!" I saw, in fact, that he was not an old man, and when he offered me a cracker, we started chatting. We were both recently divorced and happy in our single lives, both loved hiking, the beach and nature, both had two kids. We exchanged phone numbers when we landed, and I have to say, for me, it was a really crazy feeling. I knew I was going to end up with this man.
Paul: Our first date was after she had been out for dinner with her kids, so it was a 9 p.m. sober-her-up walk on the Santa Monica Pier. Then the next morning we went for a run; it was all I could do to keep up with her. When we were checking out—coincidentally, at the same time—I said I would call her when I got back to New York. About a week later, I invited her to dinner at my house: grilled salmon served around the pool. The courtship officially began and we got married in 2007.”
… ON A CARNIVAL CRUISE
Somewhere between Grand Cayman and Cozumel, 34-year old Jackie Schneider and her now-husband, Jeff, 39, met and fell in love.
I was on the cruise with my grandparents celebrating my graduation from high school in Texas and Jeff was there with his best friend celebrating his graduation from college at the Air Force Academy. The solo evening trip to the library was my first foray into independence—I was too nervous to venture into the clubs. So we met there, where I—in a purple velvet tube top (it was 2001)—was reading The Iliad and his friend was trying pick up lines (unsuccessfully). A few nights and a few karaoke and deck line-dances later, we had our first kiss under shooting stars on the deck It was magical. I mean, really. Straight out of a movie—the good ones, like the romcoms they used to make in the '90s. The next night is the last night and we exchange emails. I wondered if anything was actually going to come out of it. My instinct was to not email. But I got home and I couldn't stop thinking about him; I just wrote and I told him that I really liked him. He replied, saying he might have free time next week and—this was step two of the crazy—he just got on a flight one morning and showed up at the San Antonio Airport. After that, we kept writing letters, emails, and had marathon phone calls. I moved to New York to start college, and then we got married in 2005, after four years of long-distance dating.
… AT THE RECEPTION OF MY HOTEL
Aymen Boulehmi, 34, met his wife Manuela, 39, when he checked her in at his hotel.
We met in Hammamet, Tunisia where I was working 10 years ago. I was a receptionist, and she came with two other girls for a two-week vacation. She immediately got my attention. On the day after she arrived, I asked her out, but she was going on a three-day trip to the desert; when she came back, she said yes. So we went out, dancing and drinking, with one of her girlfriends. At a café close to the hotel, we had our first kiss. When she left, we talked on the Internet and by phone, and then for two years she would come to visit me four times a year. We decided to get married in 2010, and live in Slovenia where she is from; our son is six years old.”
…. HIKING MOUNT KILIMANJARO
Nicole Jurasky, 31, and her fiancé William Fidelis, 33, can thank their love of the outdoors for their love story.
I went on a trip to Tanzania to hike Mount Kilimanjaro, in March 2016. I was just a regular hiker, and he was a mountain guide. He had these amazing dreadlocks, and was dressed in traditional Masai clothing, which caught my eye as soon as I exited the airport where he was waiting to pick me and several other hikers up. It turned out that he was the head guide for my Kilimanjaro trek, so I spent the next seven days getting to know him on the mountain.
I knew he was special when he started teasing me on the fourth day of our hike. Once we were off the mountain, we kept in touch, and I returned about three months later to get my second summit on Kilimanjaro, and we started dating. It is now two years and seven Kilimanjaro summits (for me, many more for him) later.
I live half the year in Tanzania while we wait out the long visa process, and I now work as a group leader for a women’s travel company. I still catch my breath when I see him.
… ON A CROSSWALK IN OAHU
Jessica Mariko MacGregor, 32, met her husband Daniel, 33, on a crosswalk in Oahu.
Dan and I met on vacation in Oahu in 2008—he was living in Boston at the time and vacationing with some buddies, and I was from Seattle and visiting with my dad (who was paddling in an outrigger race) and a friend. We actually met in a crosswalk as he and his friends were headed home, and me and my friend were headed out. They ended up following us instead, and that kicked off two to three days of hanging out together. Before we left for home, he sent me a text that said he "never expected to meet the girl of his dreams 3,000 miles away." We got married about a year and a half ago, and are happily together in Boston.
… ON A GROUP TOUR OF THE AMALFI COAST
Lello Brandi, 67, was Laura Thayer’s guide on what would prove a romantic trip along the Amalfi coast 11 years ago.
I was in graduate school studying art history, and I decided at the last minute to join my mom on a week-long trip to the Amalfi Coast with a small group. Something inside me told me I had to go.
Each day we had the same tour guide, who showed us the Amalfi Coast, Naples, Pompeii, Paestum, and Capri. On the first day, our guide Lello paid particular attention to me because my mother missed her flight out of Nebraska—and she’s the person who arrives at the airport three hours early! But I made it out of Minneapolis in the middle of a blizzard, only to arrive on my own and without my luggage.
From there, it was the classic holiday romance, but beyond our stereotypical meeting, we couldn’t have been more different. I didn't speak Italian; thankfully, Lello speaks great English since he's a tour guide. I had no plans to move to Italy, and he is 30 years older than me. Not a joke when it comes to cultural and age barriers! Yet a year later when I finished grad school, I moved to Italy and six years ago we were married. Last year I became an Italian citizen. Right now we're in the process of remodeling a tiny house in Amalfi. I sometimes feel like I'm the living proof that stereotypes are meant to be broken. And that you should be careful where you go on vacation—it might just change your life.