Tokyo is a mix of contradictions, from ultramodern, neon-lit skyscrapers to tranquil temples, historic shrines, and expansive forests. It's one of the world's most cosmopolitan cities, accommodating of any and all. Still, Japan's customs—like how to bow, and when to remove your shoes—can seem intimidating. If you don't want to stick out on your visit, use this as your etiquette guide.
How to Greet People
Manners are everything in Japan, and it can all start with the first impression.
The simplest way to greet someone is by saying "konnichiwa" (hello). Depending on the time of day, you can say "ohayō gozaimasu" (good morning) or "konbanwa" (good evening). This works for everyone you encounter—cab drivers, shop clerks, wait staff, elevator operators.
Proper titles are very important. San added on to a last name means Mr., Mrs., Ms., or Miss, for example, Friedman-san. Use sensei instead of san for a teacher, doctor, or other type of professional. When in doubt, -san is safe. (Just don't refer to yourself using -san—that would be silly.)
While you don't need to bow in casual situations, like to a convenience store clerk, you must return the bow if you're on the receiving end. The longer and deeper the bow, the more respect conveyed: Put your hands behind your back and bow 15 degrees for an informal greeting; 30 degrees to greet someone who's joining you for a meal or to thank someone; and 45 degrees in formal situations, like dinner at someone's home. Bow from the waist with your back straight. If you identify as male, keep your hands at your sides; if female, keep them in your lap. Handshakes are common and can be paired with the bow, happening simultaneously.
What to Wear
In Harajuku, you'll see young people in outfits brighter than the neon signs in Shibuya, or kitted out to look like a '50s greaser. Unless you're a teenager, though, you'll need to look more polished. Men tend to get more leeway than women. You'll find women most often turned out in a sharp skirt, blouse, and heels. Since you'll be walking all day, dress comfortably, but in clothing that's neat and fitted. A tucked-in shirt or trim sweater, trousers, or dark jeans, and a comfortable but stylish shoe will help you avoid standing out. Sneakers are fine, but go with something minimalist (Converse or Superga are good choices); in summer, espadrilles work well. Note: You may be taking your shoes off at every restaurant you go to, so avoid shoes that are hard to get on and off, and make sure your socks or hosiery have no holes.
How to Get Around
Tokyo has an extensive public transit system, and both its buses and trains are clean and efficient. For short-term visitors, the subway is your best bet. Even if you're planning just a few days in Tokyo, buy a prepaid card (we recommend Pasmo and Suica) at vending machines, and load them up to use all trains, buses, and subways in the city—sometimes even for paying for snacks at konbinis. Most of the popular destinations in the city are located on the JR Yamanote Line, or "Loop Line." (You'll have to switch if you're going to Asakusa or Roppongi, but the instructions are easy to follow.)
Taxis, though ubiquitous and safe, are expensive. If you do decide to take one, know that you don't have to tip. To let the driver know where you're going, have a concierge at your hotel write the address, and hand the driver the sheet of paper to avoid things getting lost in translation.
How to Navigate Crowds
Politeness goes to the extreme in Japan, so though the subway cars may get packed at times, you won't need to push to get off. As you would in the West, let people off the subway or out of an elevator before you try to get on. Stand to the right on escalators if you want to ride and to the left if you plan to walk.
If you're speaking in English to someone who may not understand you, try writing your question down (in simple English). If it becomes clear that they don't understand at all, you can say "shitsurei shimasu" (excuse me) or "O isogashi tokoro, shitsure shimashita" (thank you for your time; sorry to disturb you) and move on.
How to Handle Chopsticks
You'll be using chopsticks at most meals—but don't stress. Traveler contributor Tyler Moss can walk you through it: "Resist the urge to rub your chopsticks together—traditionally, it conveys to restaurant [owners] that you think they’re a cheap establishment whose chopsticks are going to mar your hands with splinters." And please, don't pass food using chopsticks to your dining partner's chopsticks—that's considered impolite and is reminiscent of the tradition of transferring cremated bones to an urn at a Japanese funeral. Taking food from a group platter or a friend's plate? Use the wide end of the chopsticks, not the end that touches your mouth—the latter is a social taboo equivalent to double-dipping. Other things to avoid: pointing with chopsticks, placing them anywhere on the table but the small block, or sticking them straight up into rice (or anything else).
Words to Know
Knowing a few basic Japanese phrases shows respect for local culture, and the effort is appreciated. "Konnichiwa," (hello), "sayonara" (goodbye), "arigato" (thank you—add "ugozaimasu" to mean "very much") are the three most important phrases, and you should be using "arigato" in all interactions.
Local Etiquette
Do return a bow.
Do say thank you when you leave a shop or restaurant.
Do take off your shoes in restaurants where necessary.
Don't give someone a frayed or damaged business card—the condition of cards is important, so make sure yours are of good quality.
Do present your business card with both hands facing the receiver; receive cards—or meishi—with both hands and a slight bow, and study them for a moment.
Don't shove business cards in your pocket or write on them in front of others.
Don't hand your money to the cashier; place it on a tray that's been provided for you.
Don't ignore a greeting; at the very least, respond with "konnichiwa."
Don't initiate a hug or a cheek-kiss with a local. If you're out with a mixed group of expats and locals and you're saying goodbye to everyone, either go for a handshake or let the local make the first physical move.
This article was originally published in 2014. It has been updated with new information.
